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Maya (a pseudonym) accepted a role at a small public relations firm that appeared promising at first glance. The agency featured a close-knit team, notable clients, and opportunities for rapid career advancement. However, she soon encountered a difficult reality: her manager was a “toxic boss” who demanded unattainable standards and did not hesitate to humiliate employees in front of their peers. Maya described how her boss frequently shouted insults such as “are you thick?” and dismissed work as “rubbish” during team meetings.
The behavior crossed the line from constructive feedback into personal attacks. On one occasion, after learning a colleague had hired a personal trainer before her wedding, their manager left a disparaging photo of a “fat bride” on the colleague’s desk. Over time, Maya noted that the entire team was affected, with many coworkers breaking down in tears almost daily. She also witnessed a rise in sickness absences, attributing them directly to deteriorating mental health due to the toxic environment. Ultimately, Maya made the decision to leave the company.
Ann Francke, chief executive of the Chartered Management Institute, offers an important distinction between toxic managers and those who simply lack experience. She explains that many poor managers fall into the category of “accidental managers,” meaning they have been promoted for technical skills rather than leadership capabilities. These managers’ shortcomings usually stem from inexperience rather than malicious intent. In contrast, toxic bosses deliberately lack empathy and self-awareness. Francke notes that such leaders can undermine teams, take credit improperly, create fear, and impose unrealistic demands. The resulting atmosphere extends well beyond personality conflicts—it fosters anxiety that damages employee wellbeing and performance. She emphasizes that physical symptoms of dread, like a “knot in your stomach on Monday morning,” avoidance behaviors, or fear of speaking up, are signs of toxicity rather than mere personality clashes.
Other individuals also shared their experiences with toxic supervisors. Josie (not her real name) recounted enduring constant surveillance by her manager, who contacted her via calls, texts, and voice notes from early morning until late at night—even on days off. She also described being excluded from social activities and having projects reassigned to others. Meanwhile, Hannah, who worked for a major supermarket chain, recalled a humiliating incident when her boss forced her to remove a jumper because a guest at a corporate event was wearing the same one, leaving her feeling foolish. These stories reflect the real-life tensions depicted in the film *Send Help*, where an employee and manager confront their fraught relationship after becoming stranded together on a deserted island. Actress Rachel McAdams, who stars as the beleaguered employee, draws on her own experiences with difficult bosses and advises those suffering in toxic environments to leave if possible—or to “practise some zen” if not.
Dealing with a toxic boss can be challenging, especially when quitting is not immediately feasible. Ann Francke suggests several strategies to help employees navigate such situations. One is seeking a mentor outside of the direct reporting chain who can provide objective advice about the organization. Another is addressing issues calmly and formally with specific examples rather than ambushing the manager, potentially involving colleagues to demonstrate the broader impact. Maintaining personal boundaries and protecting mental wellbeing is also crucial to regain perspective and prepare for future steps. When appropriate, employees might consult human resources, though Francke advises verifying whether the HR function has a track record of effectively handling bad behavior. In extreme cases involving abusive conduct or risks to the organization’s reputation, formal whistleblowing may be necessary, although fear of retaliation can complicate this path
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