Why I'm terrified of motorways even though I've been driving for 20 years

Why I'm terrified of motorways even though I've been driving for 20 years

Mary McCarthy has been behind the wheel for nearly two decades, yet she has only driven on motorways around ten times due to a deep-seated fear. She recalls each occasion vividly, describing them as complete disasters. “I sit in my lane and I’m frozen, totally petrified. I can’t overtake and because you don’t overtake, people start to beep at you and that drives me into more of a frenzy,” she explained. Over the years, this anxiety grew stronger, leading her to avoid motorway driving altogether.

Mary likens her motorway experiences to the fast-paced chaos of the video game Mario Kart, where the rapid speed of other drivers heightens her nervousness. Her anxiety lingers even when she is a passenger, causing her husband to become a “nervous wreck” during drives. To circumvent motorway travel, she often asks her siblings or her 80-year-old father to drive her on longer trips, though she admits feeling embarrassed by this arrangement. “I’m just scared, I’ve set up my life to avoid it,” she shared.

Driving anxiety like Mary’s is more common than many realize. Diane Curtis Knight, a driving instructor specializing in anxious drivers, notes that fear of motorways is a frequent concern. She believes the fear is often linked not directly to motorways themselves but rather to external stressors manifesting while driving. Diane emphasizes the importance of shifting one’s mindset, suggesting the inclusion of the word “yet” when discussing their difficulties. “If someone says, ‘I can’t drive on motorways’, we need to start planting seeds into their subconscious mind to say, ‘Well, I can’t do that yet, but maybe I can do it at some stage’,” she said.

In addition to mindset shifts, Diane recommends keeping a journal to track anxiety levels associated with driving challenges. After each journey, individuals can rate their expected and actual anxiety on a scale from 1 to 10, discovering that often the anticipation causes more distress than the trip itself. Gradually increasing the difficulty of drives can then build confidence over time. Complementing this approach, Tracey Field, a stress management practitioner who runs Confident Drivers, highlights how limited driving experience can exacerbate fears, especially when one partner usually handles driving duties. Tracey advises taking motorway lessons and beginning with less demanding routes, combined with techniques such as breathing exercises or humming to stay calm.

Mary’s turning point came as she recognized that her fear was impacting her family life, particularly as her children grew older and their outings required more travel. Public transport was often impractical; what might take 22 minutes by motorway could stretch to two hours otherwise. Her 14-year-old daughter even encouraged her to “lock in” and drive, offering help with navigation — something Mary found difficult to explain because the fear felt insurmountable. Now, approaching her 50th birthday, Mary plans to take motorway driving lessons, partly to set a positive example for her children, saying, “I need to crack this fear, I would love to be able to drive on a motorway without feeling I am about to die.

Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More