Auto Amazon Links: No products found. Blocked by captcha.
Every year during the Christmas season, Ellie Goan places two meaningful ornaments on her tree—a star and a bauble—each serving as a tribute to the two pregnancies she lost. Ellie, 41, is one of over 800 women from Northern Ireland who took part in a recent study conducted by Queen’s University Belfast (QUB) on the topic of pregnancy loss. The research highlighted that many women suffer feelings of isolation and guilt after experiencing miscarriage, often due to societal stigma and insufficient emotional support.
Reflecting on her own experience, Ellie shared, “You blame yourself, I blamed myself. I know it wasn’t anything I’d done and it wasn’t my fault, but it’s very easy to say that in hindsight.” She first had a miscarriage a decade ago. While the holiday season can amplify difficult emotions, the impact on her mental health became especially severe after a second miscarriage. Describing those times, Ellie said, “I was crying all the time, I didn’t want to leave the house, I was avoiding friends.” After consulting her GP, she was diagnosed with severe anxiety, a challenge she continues to manage. Part of her recovery involved Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which Ellie credits with being a turning point: “I can’t begin to imagine the direction my life would have taken without having had that support.”
Unlike some parents, Ellie did not receive any scan pictures from her miscarriages, leaving her without a physical keepsake. She emphasized the emotional significance of a pregnancy from the earliest moment: “I don’t think it matters at what stage you lose your pregnancy once you see a positive pregnancy test, for some women, that’s your baby and you start to imagine what way your family’s going to look.” For Ellie, the memories of her two unborn children are unforgettable. A family photo shows Ellie alongside her husband Barry and their two daughters, Aoibhinn and Etain, highlighting the family she cherishes today.
Dr Áine Aventin, a senior lecturer at QUB’s School of Nursing and Midwifery, explained that the study found women who go through multiple miscarriages tend to experience higher levels of distress. Many women refrain from sharing their pregnancy news before the 12-week scan, leading to feelings of loneliness if a pregnancy loss occurs earlier, as they may not know whom to reach out to. Because miscarriage often lacks a clear cause, Dr Aventin said that women frequently blame themselves. “Is there something I’m doing wrong here, did I have a glass of wine before I knew I was pregnant, am I exercising wrong?” she said. This self-blame can compound the emotional burden, resulting in a strong sense of guilt.
While compassionate care from midwives and healthcare professionals exists, Dr Aventin pointed out that many services are overstretched. She stressed the importance of additional resources to educate staff on providing sensitive support and to allow them adequate time with patients. “When women have this experience, they’re really vulnerable,” she remarked. Compassionate communication and recognition of the loss are crucial, even when there is no visible baby. Dr Aventin shared a personal story of empathy when, after experiencing a stillbirth, a nurse preserved rose petals from flowers a friend had sent. “In the grand scheme of things, a bunch of dead roses was nothing, but this woman understood that, to me, they were Malachy’s roses,” she said, highlighting how small acts of kindness can mean so much during bereavement
Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More
Auto Amazon Links: No products found. Blocked by captcha.