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In the realm of adult friendships, the well-known promise of “We must catch up soon!” is a common refrain, both sent and received. Despite the best intentions behind these words, the pressures of adult life can often turn a simple catch-up into a logistical nightmare. The demands of work, family, and endless to-do lists make it challenging to maintain close friendships as life progresses. Research suggests that adults lose around half of their friends every seven years not due to sudden incompatibility, but rather as relationships shift with changing life stages.
Psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco highlights that significant life events such as moving in with partners, marriage, career focus, or starting a family can inadvertently lead to collateral damage in friendships. These shifts can strain the closeness maintained over time, posing a challenge in preserving these bonds with less face-to-face interaction. Claire Cohen, an expert on female friendships, finds herself navigating this issue firsthand after becoming a mother, feeling stuck in an “identity limbo” between old friends and new acquaintances from antenatal classes.
To address the complexities of changing friendships, transparency, vulnerability, and creativity play crucial roles. Claire’s experience of reaching out to a friend she missed an invite from exemplifies the power of honest communication in rekindling connections. Science underscores the importance of friendships in combating relational loneliness, emphasizing the need for deep platonic bonds for healthy human connection.
As life transitions unfold, psychologist Julia Samuels advocates for embracing the messiness and imperfection in friendships. Creating space for friends in everyday activities, even in unconventional settings, is vital for sustaining these connections. Prioritizing in-person meetups over virtual communication is essential, as it fosters meaningful interactions and combats the isolation normalized by lockdowns. Remembering that socializing is a skill that improves with practice, pushing oneself to engage in social activities can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.
In rekindling faded relationships, psychologist Dr. Franco suggests initiating contact with a text or voice note, recalling specific memories to reignite the bond. Trusting in the resilience of friendships during busy or challenging times is vital, as feelings of connection do not diminish easily. Organized group activities can alleviate the stress of hosting, making social gatherings more communal and enjoyable. Ultimately, trusting in the support and presence of friends, even amidst life’s uncertainties, is key to nurturing lasting connections
Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More
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