Four fathers of boys with severe learning disabilities have spoken about the difficulties and challenges they face in looking after their sons. Each of the four boys has a diagnosis of autism and a severe learning disability which can lead to difficult and harmful behavior towards themselves and others. In many cases, the fathers become bodyguards and protectors, and they often face physical harm. The fathers are calling for more support and respite, saying that they have to put themselves physically between their sons and other family members to protect them. They also report that they face great difficulties in finding respite support for their sons as regularly as needed.
One father is Séamus Flannigan, who has a 16-year-old son, Eoin. Séamus frequently finds that he has to put himself between Eoin and his wife and daughter to stop any harmful behavior towards others. Although Séamus can often deal with it, he admits that his wife and daughter cannot be alone with Eoin as he requires a bodyguard at all times. One touching scene in the film shows the family in a hydrotherapy pool with Eoin. Séamus and Eoin are clearly bonded through their shared experience. This is something that Séamus and the three other fathers call “small wins”. They also describe their sons as affectionate and warm, even when they struggle.
The fathers find that their sons’ difficult episodes often escalate into distressing behavior, and that they have to intervene to prevent harm to other family members, often at the risk of being harmed themselves. One father, Frank Tipping, reports that he and his wife feel guilty discussing their son’s difficult episodes even though they know it is not his fault. John Bell’s 15-year-old son Rudy is very strong, and his outbursts have resulted in multiple injuries. Mr. Bell and his wife Carly feel that taking part in the film was a last resort. They wanted to show the nature of the reality and how they are struggling to cope. Danny Miller’s dad Steven has changed jobs to be able to spend more time at home and protect his family.
All the families have been assessed and are deemed to require regular overnight respite. However, no spaces are currently available in the Belfast and South Eastern Trust. Mr. Bell, in particular, finds respite invaluable and says that it would make a hell of a difference to everybody in the family. The South Eastern Health Trust, which looks after the care of Danny and Rudy, said it would not comment on their cases but would like to offer respite as soon as possible. The Belfast Trust, which is responsible for Eoin and Theo’s care, also apologizes, as it is unable to offer overnight breaks. However, the Trust is exploring ways of reintroducing them. Health Minister Mike Nesbitt has said the current situation is unsustainable and he is determined to see urgent improvements
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