Freya Ridings bought a plane ticket and reclaimed her career: 'I felt like a naughty schoolchild'

Freya Ridings bought a plane ticket and reclaimed her career: 'I felt like a naughty schoolchild'

Freya Ridings’ recent music projects, marked by their intense and commanding sound, might evoke the image of a bold and confident warrior queen. However, behind this powerful exterior lies an artist who has wrestled deeply with self-doubt and vulnerability. During the creation of her recent work, Ridings found herself in a place of significant uncertainty and anxiety, a stark contrast to the poise that her music suggests.

Ridings opened up about how the recording process initially overwhelmed her. “I was questioning and doubting myself more than I ever had,” she revealed to BBC News. The pressure led her to experience panic attacks in the studio, yet she remained resolute, determined to use songwriting as a way to overcome her struggles. This low point can be traced back to the period surrounding her previous album, *Blood Orange*, a follow-up to her critically acclaimed debut.

Having earned a Brit Award nomination for her debut in 2017, which featured powerful ballads such as “Lost Without You” and the upbeat pop track “Castles,” Ridings was suddenly navigating a very different creative environment. Unlike her first album, primarily crafted at home with her friend Ollie Green, the recording of *Blood Orange* involved working with multiple high-profile producers—an experience Ridings did not welcome. “I hated it,” she said bluntly. The studios she worked in skewed heavily male, which she felt made it difficult to be open and vulnerable. The process was so grueling that she described it as something that “kind of broke my spirit.”

Adding to her challenges, Ridings faced upheaval beyond the studio. Her record label restructured during the pandemic, and key individuals who supported her early career had left. Moreover, a falling out with her manager compounded the sense of instability. Reflecting on these events, Ridings labeled the experience as “toxic.” Though she stands by some tracks from *Blood Orange* like “Weekends” and “Face in the Crowd,” she admits to making compromises that conflicted with her artistic instincts. The pressure wore her down to the point where she momentarily questioned her own judgment. “I felt petrified because other people were petrified for me,” she said, continuing, “It wore me down to the point where I was like, ‘Sure, maybe you do know better than me’.” Yet she recognizes that true artistry lies in authenticity—anything less becomes a hindrance.

Despite *Blood Orange* debuting in the UK Top 10 in early 2023, its chart presence was fleeting, disappearing after only one week. Soon after, Ridings was dropped by her label, a blow she shared candidly with her fans during an Instagram live session amid what she describes as a “full-on breakdown.” Although she felt like she was “falling through the cracks,” her devoted fanbase supported her, and with no label backing or budget, she managed to sell out a 32-date European tour.

Her road to reclaiming creative control continued when she sought to work with Jen Decilveo, the acclaimed American producer behind Hozier’s “Francesca.” However, her then-manager discouraged the collaboration and withheld knowledge of Decilveo’s mutual interest. This moment crystallized for Ridings the need to regain power over her own career. Taking matters into her own hands, she purchased her own plane ticket to pursue the partnership. “I was crapping myself,” she laughed, “I felt scared, like a naughty schoolchild, because this was the first time in a long time where I hadn’t done exactly what I was told.” That leap of faith reignited her spirit; she described feeling as if “I lit up. It was like I was possessed. I knew I had to get on that plane.”

Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More