The words from my Dad that saved me as a new parent

The words from my Dad that saved me as a new parent

Former Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated that fatherhood would come with its share of challenges, but the experience turned out to be far more demanding than he had envisioned. After his partner Louise faced severe health complications during childbirth and required hospitalization, Ryan suddenly found himself responsible not only for their newborn son, Leo, but also as Louise’s primary caregiver. Reflecting on this demanding period, he said, “I think I was just in survival mode for a year.” Taking on both parental roles, Ryan handled every nighttime routine, diaper change, and walk.

After nearly a year of this intense pressure, Ryan reached a point of burnout. A candid conversation with his own father on a park bench proved pivotal. His father’s straightforward question, “You’re not in a good spot. You need some help. How can I help you?” opened the way for Ryan to express his struggles honestly. This interaction was a turning point, enabling him to seek support and begin the process of recovery. Ryan’s experience highlights a common yet often overlooked issue—while much attention is paid to mothers’ postnatal challenges, fathers’ struggles with mental health remain less discussed. According to England’s recent men’s health strategy, between 5-15% of new fathers experience anxiety around the time of childbirth, with 5-10% facing depression.

Ryan believes that his difficulties reflect a larger problem surrounding men’s mental health and social expectations of masculinity. He expressed that men often feel compelled to act like an unbreakable “harbour wall” that must withstand constant pressure without showing vulnerability. Emphasizing the importance of seeking support, he stated, “It’s not a show of weakness to ask for help. I didn’t do that quick enough.” Supporting this perspective, clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney explains that many men resist admitting their struggles, feeling they are less entitled to help than mothers. Nevertheless, she stresses the importance of men’s mental well-being for the health of the whole family.

Ryan’s newfound understanding of fatherhood has inspired him to write weekly letters to his son Leo, documenting his journey as a parent and encouraging emotional awareness. Similarly, rapper and songwriter Professor Green (Stephen Manderson) reflects on how his own challenging childhood—marked by an inconsistent relationship with his father—shaped his approach to parenting his son, Slimane. Stephen acknowledges that unresolved trauma led him to harmful coping mechanisms in his youth, but as a father, he is determined to break the cycle by fostering emotional security and teaching healthy ways to manage feelings. Both men highlight the value of confronting personal pain, changing communication patterns, and developing emotional regulation skills as they strive to be better role models for their children

Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More