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Following a recent BBC report revealing that over 1,000 adopted children were returned to care within a five-year period, many adoptive parents have reached out to share their difficulties in obtaining support for their children. Numerous families expressed frustration over being held responsible for the emotional and behavioral challenges faced by their often-traumatized adopted children. Mina, who lost her son last year due to alcoholism, described her experience as “just a lone person battling, trying to battle the system.” Adoption UK has recently urged the government to conduct a comprehensive review of adoption support and to secure ongoing funding for therapeutic services.
Mina, among approximately 700 respondents to the BBC’s appeal, recounted the lifelong struggles of her son Leighton, whom she and her husband adopted at age three. Despite their efforts, Leighton battled mental health issues and addiction, which Mina attributes to the distress caused by his adoption. She shared that from a very young age, her son exhibited signs of deep depression, yet the concerns raised by his adoptive parents were frequently dismissed by social workers. Over time, Leighton’s difficulties escalated to self-harm, substance abuse, and ultimately, his passing at just 26 years old from liver failure. Mina criticized the tendency of social services to place blame on adoptive parents, stating, “There’s a perception that once a child’s adopted, they’ll live happily ever after, and there is no platform to complain or to even have your voice.”
Charity organizations such as Coram have also highlighted the intense pressure on the adoption system and echoed calls for better resources and support. Dr. Carol Homden, CEO of Coram, emphasized the importance of recognizing that many children who enter adoption require ongoing assistance throughout their lives. She criticized the initial response to parents’ requests for help, noting, “It’s shocking to discover again that adoptive parents, are experiencing blame as the first response when they seek help. That should never be the case.” CoramBAAF, a body representing children’s social workers, supports a government review to improve adoption support services, underlining the necessity of prioritizing the welfare of adopted children.
In contrast to the stories of struggle, some adoptive parents have shared accounts of positive experiences when support is available. Emma and Geoff, who adopted a daughter in need of significant help, benefited from therapy coordinated through their local authority’s established relationship with a specialist adoption service. Emma explained that the link between adoption and therapy was well understood by the providers, who were quick to respond when the family requested assistance. Geoff recounted that their daughter required about a decade of intermittent therapy before she built trust, ultimately enabling her to live independently in supported accommodations at 21. This case illustrates the critical role that timely and tailored therapeutic support can play in helping adopted children progress and thrive
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