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In recent times, a growing number of parents have been using smartphone tracking applications to monitor the whereabouts of their adult children. This trend raises the question of whether such behavior is an expression of care or a symptom of parents struggling to let go. Steven Medway, a 53-year-old father of two, routinely uses a tracking app to locate his family members and finds it baffling why some parents view this practice so controversially. The technology became especially helpful for him when his daughter Martha moved 100 miles away to attend university, as it makes the distance feel less daunting.
According to research conducted by Unite Students, which surveyed over a thousand parents of first-year university students across the UK, around 67% of parents track their child’s location using an app. Despite this, only 17% report contacting their children daily. Dr Martin Brunet, a GP who shares mental health advice online, emphasizes that while tracking is a personal choice, he encourages parents to allow their children to gain independence for their own wellbeing. He points out that modern technology has made it easier for parents not to let go, which may not always be beneficial.
Steven, based in a rural area near Cardiff, has relied on the Life 360 app for years, initially to help manage his daughter’s social outings close to home. He found it useful for practicality, such as knowing when to pick her up if needed. Continuing this practice when Martha started university in Reading, he uses the app simply to check if she has returned to her halls after late nights out, without constantly contacting her. Steven insists that the app is not about controlling or distrust, as Martha has never disabled it and is free to do so at any time.
Similarly, Maria Connolly, a pub landlady from Swansea, uses the app to keep track of her autistic son Owain, who moved to university in Hertfordshire. For Maria, the app provides reassurance about Owain’s wellbeing, helping her ensure he is socializing and reminding him to charge his phone. While Owain initially hesitated, Maria justified the tracking by pointing out that she pays his phone bill, and the arrangement is partly safety-driven. Although she acknowledges Owain’s independence, Maria admits the app acts as a “safety net,” expressing a tender attachment by calling him “my baby.” Both parents highlight safety as their primary motivation, underscored by incidents where quick location tracking could be crucial.
Other parents, like Lianne Hannam from Cardiff, also appreciate tracking apps due to modern concerns about the world outside their homes. Lianne’s daughter Erin Mae introduced the app to the family, and it provides peace of mind as Erin Mae is a new driver and works at night. For Lianne, it is less about controlling her children and more about managing worries related to the dangers they might face.
Despite the apparent benefits, Dr Brunet cautions that tracking may foster over-dependence, potentially hindering young adults’ growth. He questions when the tracking should end and suggests parents be wary of marketing that frames these apps as an essential expression of love. Instead, he advocates for allowing children to face challenges independently, comparing this process to growing a strong tree exposed to natural elements rather than a fragile one sheltered indoors
Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More
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