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Sophie Richards and Dillon Lewis went on quite an unusual third date: a visit to a fertility clinic. By that time, they had already been discussing topics rarely brought up on early dates, such as living with chronic conditions, egg freezing, and intimacy struggles. For Sophie, who is 29 and lives with endometriosis—a condition that can cause infertility—opening up about these realities was a crucial step in her journey to find love.
Endometriosis involves the growth of tissue similar to the lining inside the uterus appearing in other parts of the body, including the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and intestines. This can cause intense period pain, fatigue, and pain in the lower abdomen and back. For Sophie, being upfront with Dillon, a Wales rugby international, was essential. At the start of their relationship, Sophie was freezing her eggs due to concerns about fertility caused by her condition. “It can be very challenging, especially with endometriosis or something chronic, or infertility issues like I’ve struggled with,” she said, reflecting on how difficult it was to bring these topics up. Despite the discomfort, she chose to be transparent about the injections and surgeries involved, acknowledging that these were “very unsexy topics” to discuss early on.
Dillon, who admits he initially knew little about endometriosis, has been a supportive partner throughout. He recalls spending hours learning about the condition alongside Sophie over drinks. “It made learning a lot easier, but she didn’t mind the stupid questions as well,” he said. Dillon emphasizes the importance of openness and willingness to help however possible, even if it is as simple as offering a hot water bottle. Sophie now advocates for women’s health and hosts a podcast, underlining that having a partner who understands endometriosis is vital to her wellbeing. “I genuinely don’t think I could be with someone who didn’t want to understand the endometriosis, because ultimately, I will live with it forever. It’s chronic,” she explained.
Another woman sharing her experience is Natalie Jones from Cardiff, who juggles dating alongside managing endometriosis and adenomyosis. Diagnosed in 2018 and awaiting her fourth surgery, Natalie has found that fatigue frequently forces her to cancel dates, something she worries might give the wrong impression to new partners. She highlights the challenge of balancing the unpredictability of flare-ups with the desire to maintain relationships. Intimacy also presents difficulties, complicated by concerns over pain and heavy bleeding. Natalie stressed the importance of being with someone willing to understand these realities, saying, “If I’m dating or speaking with somebody who isn’t prepared to either learn or understand… then that’s probably not the right person anyway.”
Pelvic health physiotherapist Pauline-Clare Callaghan points out that while more open discussion around menstrual health and menopause has made progress recently, issues like endometriosis-related sexual pain remain under-addressed. She explains that sexual pain from endometriosis can arise due to scar tissue, adhesions, fibrosis, or tension in pelvic floor muscles. Although treatments like pelvic physiotherapy exist, widespread barriers—including stigma, lack of awareness, and cultural taboos—prevent many from receiving adequate support. Faye Farthing from Endometriosis UK emphasizes the profound impact of the condition on relationships and sex lives, stressing the need to break societal stigma by encouraging conversations about sex and endometriosis, particularly for those entering new relationships
Read the full article from The BBC here: Read More
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