Unpaid carers: 'I love my dad to bits – but I reached breaking point'

Unpaid carers: 'I love my dad to bits – but I reached breaking point'

Caring for my father has been both a labor of love and a breaking point for me. Bernard Mendoza, 82, was diagnosed with dementia three years ago, and since then, I, his son Danny Mendoza, have taken on the role of his full-time carer. While my love for my dad knows no bounds, the toll of being his sole caregiver has left me feeling isolated and overwhelmed to the point of contemplating suicide.

My mental health has suffered greatly over the years, with my depression worsening as I took on the responsibility of caring for my father. The burden became too heavy to bear, and I knew I had reached a breaking point. Seeking help, I contacted social services, leading to my father spending six weeks in a care home for respite. Despite the guilt of placing him in temporary care, I realized that my own well-being was just as important.

The system for unpaid carers like myself is deeply flawed, with me receiving only £328 per month in Carer’s Allowance despite being a 24/7 caregiver. This amount hardly reflects the commitment and sacrifice required for the role. Others, like Gill Stafford, have faced similar challenges in caring for their loved ones. Gill, 76, has been the sole carer for her son Gareth, 38, who has cerebral palsy. The struggles of unpaid carers are often overlooked, leaving them feeling invisible and isolated.

According to Carers Wales, unpaid carers in Wales face significant mental health challenges, with many feeling overwhelmed and struggling to access necessary support services. The importance of unpaid carers cannot be understated, as their work is estimated to be worth £10bn if they were paid. Urgent action is needed to address the issues faced by unpaid carers, with Carers Wales calling for leadership from the government to prioritize support for this vulnerable group. The Welsh government has allocated funds to support unpaid carers, but more comprehensive action is necessary to address the systemic failures in the current care system

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