“The psychology behind swipe-dating apps creates a gamified experience that keeps users hooked,” says Annabelle Wright, a behavioural psychologist and relationships coach. “Confined within an algorithm that does the matching for you, you end up passively swiping, becoming disengaged and ultimately dissatisfied.”
“It turns finding a partner into a shallow, objectifying game,” adds Lucy Brown, a relationships counsellor who sees clients in her east London practice. “That’s ultimately why people are starting to leave these apps behind: because they don’t feel good using them.”
What’s next?
With social media in flux and on a path to greater regulation, many singletons are turning to more controlled environments for romantic connection.
Niche dating apps that focus on shared values, such as the environmental app For Greenies or the socialist platform Red Stars, are gaining popularity. Meanwhile, offline activities are becoming more date-like: instead of impromptu drinks, some are suggesting days out at exhibitions or farms, or running sessions in parks.
“Younger people are choosing to meet people in environments that feel more compatible with their sense of how relationships should be initiated,” says Fiona Green, a professor of sociology at Oxford University. “They’re pushing back against the high-pressure online dating environment.”
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Others are exploring existing networking sites in a new way, such as transforming their LinkedIn profile into a dating app by dropping occasional flirty comments or connecting with people outside their industry.
“The reality is that most people want to feel seen and heard, not selected based on their appearance or how witty they can be in a bio or first message,” says Brunning. “Whether it’s through a running app, a film-appreciation group, or through LinkedIn, people are looking for connection in a more sincere and human way.”
And, as Bandinelli points out, these changes could herald a broader shift in society’s values. “The move away from swipe apps is part of a larger trend towards social bonding through other digital avenues, whether for friendship or other forms of romance.”
It remains to be seen whether this shift away from traditional dating apps will continue and how the landscape of online romance will be reshaped as a result. But for now, it seems that many are embracing a more authentic, less pressured way of connecting with others.
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