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Dating and relationships for disabled women have long been plagued with negative stereotypes and stigmas. Holly, 26, has chronic pain and hypermobility syndrome and recalled being asked if she could have sex because she was disabled at just 16. She has since been asked other invasive questions such as whether she “can have rough sex” or if she needs to be in a wheelchair. Other disabled women echoed Holly’s experience, including Nicola Thomas, 38, and Kat Watkins. Nicola lost her sight in both eyes due to an auto-immune disease but continues to travel and enjoys water sports with her boyfriend who is also blind. Kat Watkins believes that disabled women should have the right to explore their sexual identity and develop relationships just like any other person.
Most disabled women report feeling stereotyped due to their physical and mental health challenges, with others assuming that their partners will leave them if their health declines. Moreover, students already deal with personal and intrusive questions about their sexuality in and outside of school. Sex is usually among the first questions that people ask wheelchair users, which demonstrates the taboos surrounding sex and relationships for disabled people. Disability Wales Access to Politics Project Officer Kat Watkins believes that disabled people should have the right to access information about sex and sexual health, stating that adapatable sex toys and aids can assist people in developing the confidence necessary to engage in relationships or activities that involve sex.
It is crucial to note that positive relationships for disabled individuals require appropriate representation in the media. Holly and her husband James’s love story is an excellent example of how happy relationships can exist even when one partner has a disability. Despite societal stigmas and negative stereotypes, these disabled women defy them and push boundaries daily to live out their dreams, desires, and pursue healthy relationships. While misconceptions about disabled persons and the nature of their relationships may persist in the public consciousness, these strong women and their allies continue to challenge these views by promoting positive and empowering narratives about disabled love, intimacy, and sexuality
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