Helen Rimell has been capturing the decline of her mother, Susan, since she was diagnosed with early onset vascular dementia in 2015. Moving back to south Wales to become her mother’s full-time carer, Helen continued to take pictures of her mum for her personal project titled No Longer Here, in an effort to process the grief and loss that came with her mum’s diagnosis. The project captures Susan’s decline in the little details from everyday life at home in Llantwit Major, Vale of Glamorgan, from a broken glass lying in a pool of liquid after she smashed it on the floor, to a tooth-marked bar of soap in a dish after her mother tried to eat it having lost the ability to understand what is edible.
The photographs recently won a grant from the Bob and Diane fund, an annual grant for visual storytellers about Alzheimer’s and dementia. However, caring for Susan has not been without its challenges. During the pandemic, Susan’s carers stopped coming to her house, and in September 2021 Helen decided to move home to care for her mum herself. Susan can no longer have a conversation, use cutlery, and is incontinent. She has gone through a period of being aggressive and violent. The past few years have been incredibly difficult for Helen as she juggles caring for her mother with trying to keep her business afloat.
Dementia has turned out to be something very different to what Helen thought before becoming a carer. She explains that in films, dementia is often portrayed as “this sweet little old person sat in a home and they forget your name but at the last minute they remember how to dance with you and a favourite song. But it’s not like that. Their whole personality changes”.
Despite the challenges, Helen has no regrets. She says, “I’d do it all again – she did it for me and I want to return the love she’s given to me”. She cherishes the moments of joy that still come through, such as when her mum taps her feet to Elvis, but also acknowledges how difficult it is to watch her mother slowly slip away. With dementia, “it’s like them dying over and over and over again, slowly”, Helen says
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